Ever Tried to Squeeze a Fist While Shaking Hands? 🤝🏽

Imagine trying to shake someone’s hand while they’re squeezing their fist tight. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and just doesn’t feel right.

Now, apply that idea to your pelvic floor. If those muscles are too tight, weak, or not functioning properly, sex can become painful—whether you’re a man or a woman. The pelvic floor isn’t just some mysterious set of muscles “down there.” It plays a huge role in pleasure, control, and function.

So, let’s break it down—without the boring medical jargon—and talk about why sex might hurt and what you can do about it.

Pelvic Floor 101: Meet Your Body’s Hidden Powerhouse 🏋🏽‍♀️

Your pelvic floor is a hammock of muscles sitting at the base of your pelvis. It supports your bladder, rectum, and (for women) uterus while also controlling pee, poop, and sexual function.

• For Women: These muscles surround the vagina and control penetration comfort, orgasm intensity, and even post-sex relief.

• For Men: The pelvic floor supports erections, ejaculation, and prostate health. If these muscles are overactive or weak, sex can feel painful or cause lingering discomfort afterward.

Now, let’s talk why things can go wrong.

Why Does Sex Hurt? 3 Common Culprits

1. The “Tight But Weak” Dilemma

Think of a tight rubber band—it’s stiff, but if you try to stretch it, it hurts! That’s what happens when your pelvic floor muscles are clenched up but not strong enough to relax properly.

Symptoms: Pain with penetration (for women), pain with ejaculation (for men), a feeling of tightness that won’t go away.

2. Nerve Sensitivity: Your Pelvis is on High Alert

Imagine your phone vibrating all the time—even when no one is calling. That’s what happens when your nerves are irritated. Pelvic nerves can get extra sensitive, leading to burning, aching, or deep pain during or after sex.

Symptoms: A stinging or electric-type pain, pain that lingers after sex, discomfort with sitting.

3. Coordination Issues: Your Muscles Are Confused

Imagine trying to drive a car but pressing the brake and gas at the same time. Not smooth, right? Some people unknowingly contract their pelvic floor muscles when they should be relaxing, making sex uncomfortable.

Symptoms: Pain during entry (for women), premature ejaculation or erectile discomfort (for men), difficulty with deep penetration.

What Can You Do About It Today? 🚀

✅  Try Deep Belly Breathing
Your diaphragm and pelvic floor are besties—when one moves, the other follows. Breathe deeply into your belly (not your chest), allowing your pelvic floor to gently relax as you inhale.

Try This: Lie down, place one hand on your belly, and take slow 4-second inhales through your nose. Feel your belly rise. Exhale for 6 seconds through your mouth and feel your belly fall. Repeat for 2 minutes.

✅ Do a “Reverse Kegel” (Yes, That’s a Thing!)
Most people hear about Kegels, but if your pelvic floor is already overactive, doing MORE tightening isn’t the answer. Instead, try a reverse Kegel, which is all about relaxing the muscles.

Try This: Imagine your pelvic muscles melting like warm butter. Instead of squeezing, focus on letting go. You should feel a gentle softening, like unclenching a fist.

✅ Change Positions & Use More Lube
Sometimes, simple position changes can help reduce pressure on the pelvic floor. Also, friction makes things worse—using a high-quality water-based lubricant can make a big difference.

Try This: If deep penetration is painful, try side-lying positions where you have more control. For men with post-sex discomfort, using more lube can reduce tension buildup.

When to Get Professional Help 👩🏽‍⚕️👨🏻‍⚕️

If pain persists despite trying these tips, a pelvic floor physical therapist can help. They specialize in teaching your muscles how to work properly—whether that means strengthening, relaxing, or improving coordination.

You might need Pelvic Floor PT if:
✔️ Pain keeps happening every time you have sex
✔️ You feel tightness, burning, or aching that won’t go away
✔️ You notice pelvic discomfort with daily activities like sitting or peeing

Final Thoughts: Your Pelvic Floor = A VIP Player in Sexual Health

Your pelvic floor muscles should be flexible, strong, and coordinated—not tense, weak, or overactive. Pain with sex isn’t normal, and you don’t have to just "live with it."

Try the 3 tips today, and if pain persists, seek help! A pain-free, enjoyable sex life is 100% possible.

💡 Want More Help? Download one of my Free Guides!

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